F'nking Fat Ass!

Hi. I'm Rebecca. I'm a fat ass. Literally. Once upon a time I was slender, healthy, active and all of those other glorious things, but now I'm trapped in a gerbil wheel of my own creation with no will power and almost 80 pounds of fat to show for it.

Yes. It sucks.

I know how it happened - I watched it happen. I have two boys, two jobs, a masters and no time left for me. I'm a teacher which is a rather grueling job that I love, and I'm also a writer - hence this blog. Every night, when I used to exercise mind you, I write. I make a nice income doing - as much as that whole teacher salary, and I got to stay home for a year after my second was born, but my weight issue has been years in the making.

I've been battling weight forever, just like everyone else. I battled ten pounds or so back then and was up when I had my first son. I was metiliculous on calorie counting and such, but gained 50. A lot of that was water, and I was back down within five pounds after his birth. Unfortunately, from that time on, I had a poor sleeper and I struggled to find time or energy for diet or exercise.

Then, I started my Masters, started writing online for paying clients and started another pregnancy all within a year. Any hope of exercise and calorie counting was gone.

With two small children who sleep badly and a business to run every night, I haven't gone near the treadmill but for the rare occassion like tonight.

But I'm hoping and am strengthing my resolve that tonight will not be the exception anymore.

For three years I've been battlting baby weight. And with two huge babies (10.5 and 12.5), I'm also dealing with some serious ab problems. My muscles are non existent - stretched beyond belief, and my skin flap done flap all the way over.

So here I am. On the first day of my path to salvation.

Salvation, you ask?

Yes, I respond. I'm going to save my boys' Mommy.

I want to reduce my stress, help us all learn to eat a heathier diet and reclaim the active, healthy person I used to be. I was never skinny, never very gifted as an athelete, but I was strong and I felt good in my skin.

Now I have too much skin, and it sucks.

So I'll lose as much as I can and then I'll have a skilled surgeon cut the rest off (namely that damn hanging skin on the tum-tum.)

Today's stats: 245.2 pounds, size 20-22 (ugh, gross!)